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Saturday, Nov. 16, 2002 @ 3:48 A.M.

Exhausted in body and in mind...

I completely lost it tonight... my composure, that is. I had a lovely little breakdown because Moises' till was over an insane amount of money. I think it's because of this:

Monday = 5:45pm - 3:45am (9.5hrs of work), went to sleep at 4:30am, woke up at 11:00am (6.5hrs of sleep)

Tuesday = 2:45pm - 1:15am (8hrs of work), went to sleep at 5:00am, woke up at 11:00pm (6hrs of sleep)

Wed = off went to sleep at 4:00am, woke up at 10:00am (people kept calling me! 6hrs of sleep)

Thursday = 5:45pm - 5:45am (10.5hrs of work), went to sleep at 8:00am, woke up at 1:00pm (5hrs of sleep)

Friday = 5:00pm - 3:00am (9.5hrs of work), going to sleep as soon as I'm done with this entry.

Total work hours in those five days: 37.50hrs. Total sleep hours: 23.5hrs so far. Total amount of stress: LOTS!!! I feel like my head is about to explode. The fact that I'm working such long hours and not resting my body adequately has been taking a toll on me. The most disturbing aspect of all of this is that even when I sleep, I tend to dream about work and all the problems that arise. Tonight, I was so behind in the concessions deposits that I was starting to freak out. I'm glad that Jen signed in to handle the box deposits that were left behind. Poor Dieter was getting frustrated too. Of course, it doesn't help that people kept hitting my head with things. There were only a few other times that I ever let my temper get the better of me when someone hit my head... one time was when someone dropped a humongous ice ball on the top of my head. It hurt like a mo' fo' and I distinctly remember yelling at the top of my lungs, "I'LL KILL YOU!" and grabbing my head and crying my eyes out. I always will regret yelling that. Scared the crap outta the kids in my youth group. Everyone pretty much tip-toed around me after that. Anyways, I was behind on the concessions drops and trying to get my concessionist stocked up, cleaning up Harry Potter, getting all them customers into Harry Potter, and trying to get people counted out before they were scheduled to leave. But, jeez, my patience was already wearing thin, I didn't get enough sleep, I basically worked on my break, had only the yakisoba to eat all day and caramel frappacino and vanilla coke to drink all day, had to deal with Des... the stress has been piling up on me for weeks now. So, while I was trying to figure out my concessions deposits (mind you, I'm already starting to freak out because of all the money that isn't properly allocated), Jen tells me that Moises is over on his box till and I burst into tears at the prospect of having to try to figure out what happened. Why can't our numbers simply add up properly? Why can't we easily figure out what numbers go with which till? Why do we have to decipher the matinee crap? Why?! Why?!! WHY?!!!

Why did I agree to take my vacation after the holidays? I'm going to be a complete and utter wreck before the weekend is over. I don't think my fragile psyche can handle much more of this. I hope my dreams are a bit more peaceful today. Perhaps the exhaustion will just allow me a dreamless slumber. One can only hope...

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