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Sunday, Apr. 21, 2002 @ 4:56 P.M.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary...

Well, it's been... well...

Yesterday was a fun-packed day of emotional trauma. Okay, okay! I know, I'm being waaaaay too over reacting. Hey, that's just the way I am. I do tend to express myself with extremes and hyperbole, but it's all good. I'm sure anyone can sift through all the psycho-babble and understand what I'm saying. Wait a sec', what am I talking about?

Like I started to write before I got distracted, yesterday was interesting. Picked up Jenifer, got to work(not too late!), bought myself a chocolate brownie frappacino, and worked. I thought I would be tired, but I wasn't really. I was excited about going over to Moises' house with Chris(and Rogee and Roach tagging along, too) to watch Trigun after work. I was bouncing off the walls for the end of my shift. I think the caffine helped. I called my sis and bro to tell them what was going on. I was so excited!

Went home, took a shower, told Rogee to call Roach and Chris to see what time we were going. I couldn't get a hold of Chris, though! He wasn't home, but I finally called East Valley to see if he was still there. Surprise, surprise, he was. Apparently, he had forgotten the plans we made from the night before. What the heck?! I hope he was just sleepy or something because that really peeved me. Anyways, finally decided to go without Roach. She said she'd meet us at Moises'. She said she remembered how to get there. She said she didn't want to start the Trigun series in the middle of it so I said we'd watch Vampire Hunter D first and wait to start Trigun when she got there. We picked up Chris and called Moises so he could order some pizza. Got to his house and waited for Roach to show up. She calls, tells me she got lost and isn't showing up. Oh well, it's not like we can't see the series with her another time. I own it for gooshness sakes! Ate pizza, played with Tiger(Moises' kitty), and watched 3 of the DVDs. We were there until about 2am and it was fun.

Now for the emotional stuff. The first part of being at the house was normal enough. I sat next to Chris... not too close, just... next to him. You cannot know the turmoil within me. Ack! I mean, he was right there, next to me! What do you expect me to do? Ignore my feelings for him?! Well, yeah, I tried for a while... kept it nice and friendly, but then the cat happened. It sat next to Chris and he started petting it. It was so cute!! I couldn't resist leaning over to pet the cat too. And that was it for me. After that, I rested my head on Chris' shoulder. Ah, contentness. I felt so blissfully happy. Then, I started thinking... thinking about our situation and how I shouldn't be doing that. My head was telling me to stop. Oh, how I hate to do what I SHOULD be doing. It's just my contrariness again. Since I'm me, I decided to go with the flow and follow my heart. I was much happier, although confuzzled. Snuggling against him was so warm and felt right. I... I don't care what you think, I'm happier with him than without him. Right now is all I care about, not some uncertain future that I have no control over. Whatever happens, happens. I just have to be strong enough to deal with whatever comes my way.

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